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brain spoon n. 1. A device used by 4th century Quirinalian monks to exact revenge for crimes deemed monstrously immoral. The device consisted of a large scoop with razor sharp edges, fixed to bellows and a hollow tube, through which was poured a mixture of vinegar and molten metal intended to soften the skull, thereby facilitating cranial penetration and extraction of brain sections. 2. Any device which causes extreme pain in the craniocerebral region.

And now, for The Best of Wayne Moon, you'll have to weed through this mangled Myspace site that will need to be reconstructed after their attempt to keep up: Wayne Moon on Myspace.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Step One: ID the Enemy

Now that the President has identified the enemy, let’s explore the history and scope of these “Islahmick Fashists.”

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As everyone knows, fashists (or, in the spelling of the pre-Bush era, fascists…the spelling was changed to avoid confusion with facists, or users of Facebook) are bad folk. According to the wikipedia entry, fascism was a radical totalitarian political philosophy that combined elements of corporatism, authoritarianism, extreme nationalism, militarism, anti-communism and anti-liberalism. In today’s lexicon, one may as well add gay-bashing, blind greed, and ignorance of history, and you've got a clear picture of a red state. However, when the President speaks of Islahmick Fashists, he is referring to the state of Islahmia. In Fashist Islahmia (which is said to be located "somewhere out that way but not in our own back yard"), the state controls the means of production, including all of their machines, power generation and labor, i.e., robots that shoot lasers out of their eyes, humans and children. Islahmia’s businesses and government collude to profit by engaging in economic intervention. As a result, in Islahmia everyone is employed. Because all aspects of life are subjected to the national interest, citizens of Islahmia enjoy a bright future. As they say in Fashist Islahmia, “around here, you gotta wear shades.” Oh yes, and they hate freedom...and us.

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