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brain spoon n. 1. A device used by 4th century Quirinalian monks to exact revenge for crimes deemed monstrously immoral. The device consisted of a large scoop with razor sharp edges, fixed to bellows and a hollow tube, through which was poured a mixture of vinegar and molten metal intended to soften the skull, thereby facilitating cranial penetration and extraction of brain sections. 2. Any device which causes extreme pain in the craniocerebral region.

And now, for The Best of Wayne Moon, you'll have to weed through this mangled Myspace site that will need to be reconstructed after their attempt to keep up: Wayne Moon on Myspace.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Noxious Nocturnals

The kinkajou is a nocturnal animal, spending the day sleeping in tree holes. A daytime nap in trees has risks. From above, birds such as the harpy eagle and Isidor's eagle search for sleeping kinkajous. Other predators prowl from below. The jaguar and the ocelot may pounce quickly and devour an entire family in one bite. As a result, the kinkajou has evolved a fallschirm, which is a kind of organic, exploding parachute. When a jaguar swallows a large kinkajou, stomach acids erode the outer layer of the animal, releasing the fallschirm rip cord. The whole thing makes for such a bloody mess I can't even think about it. Fortunately for those people who have their heads in the sand about such things, I made the last part up.

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