Paranoia Reflux

Yesterday, an old friend called to reconnect. After a while, his cell phone connection gave up the ghost. By the time I was able to call him back, it seemed to me that his mood had taken a turn for the worse. Either he'd had a chance to assess whatever I'd said during our conversation (my addled brain does not allow for much in the way of recall) or, somehow, THEY'd gotten to him. Now, just bear with my paranoia for a second. If the answer is A: that I'd said something stupid and didn't realize it, then I have no way of knowing what I'd said and whether or not I should apologize or explain further. If the answer is B: then THEY, and by THEY I mean the dead chicken we're going to be wearing around our necks for four more years, had made their case and won him over, which means we've lost another one. Either way, it's bad. Either way, it's a symptom of the new order. I thought I was seeing conspiracies at every turn before! What's going to happen now? I can feel it bubbling up into my esophagus. For your sake, and yours, and yours, I hope it's just me. If something doesn't come along to save the world soon...oh wait. How about this:

According to Daniel Quinn, author of Ishmael: hunter/gatherer/pastoralist cultures had it right for three million years. Then, ten thousand years ago, some minds were changed in that fertile crescent, and totalitarian agriculture was born. Our modern day culture grew out of this mind-change. Instead of the orderly interaction with the community of life, we're now out to conquer the planet, the world that we believe was created for humanity. If you ask, "So what're you saying, we're supposed to go back to being hunter/gatherers?" you'll get a big, telepathic gorilla shaking his head, putting the following thought in yours: "No. You're inventive people. Figure out a way to make it work."

Like that's ever going to happen. I mean the making it work part. We're more likely to stumble upon a telepathic gorilla.

For a minute, I thought I was onto something....