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brain spoon n. 1. A device used by 4th century Quirinalian monks to exact revenge for crimes deemed monstrously immoral. The device consisted of a large scoop with razor sharp edges, fixed to bellows and a hollow tube, through which was poured a mixture of vinegar and molten metal intended to soften the skull, thereby facilitating cranial penetration and extraction of brain sections. 2. Any device which causes extreme pain in the craniocerebral region.

And now, for The Best of Wayne Moon, you'll have to weed through this mangled Myspace site that will need to be reconstructed after their attempt to keep up: Wayne Moon on Myspace.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

The Heart of My Quagmire

Since Saturday morning, I've been experiencing an odd sensation. Every few minutes, I feel a sort of mild pressure in my left-center chest. At first, I thought it had something to do with my body's reaction to all those years of leaning left-center with a bleeding heart. So I went to my doc's for an EKG. "It's perfect," he said. "What's perfect?" I replied, "the metaphor?" He shrugged and wrote a prescription for a stress echocardiogram, on which was written Diagnosis: chest pain. "I don't really have any pain, just an odd sensation," I said, but by then I was driving alone on my way to work. When I called to make an appointment for the stress echo, I was informed that nothing was available for two weeks. Usually, my next step would be to research my symptoms online, but I've been so busy at work that I haven't had time. Of course, any symptoms associated with whatever conclusions I'd draw from online research would surely present as well.

You may recall that I've been sounding the call to shore up our chemical plants. Well, last week, our ineffective Senate killed, 48-47, a bid to shift $70 million from a Department of Homeland Security administrative account to grants for securing chemical plants from terrorism. So at least Tom Ridge will have lots of nifty pencils with DHS logos and whatever else administrative accounts cover.

And another thing...in the September 27, 2004 issue of Time, Michael Elliot cites an energy policy analysis:

the U.S. between 1977 and 1985 increased efficiency and cut oil consumption 17% and net oil imports 50%) while the economy grew 27%. The key to that revolution was a huge increase in average miles-per-gallon of the U.S. automobile fleet. If we had continued to increase energy efficiency at the same rate, the stability of Iraq and Saudi Arabia would by now be of minor concern to U.S. policymakers. Instead, we bought SUVs and wasted two decades.

If only I had not been lost in the health care system quagmire, I might have been able to help change things for the better. Seriously, if I don't make it, keep fighting to wake up our sleepy citizens.

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