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brain spoon n. 1. A device used by 4th century Quirinalian monks to exact revenge for crimes deemed monstrously immoral. The device consisted of a large scoop with razor sharp edges, fixed to bellows and a hollow tube, through which was poured a mixture of vinegar and molten metal intended to soften the skull, thereby facilitating cranial penetration and extraction of brain sections. 2. Any device which causes extreme pain in the craniocerebral region.

And now, for The Best of Wayne Moon, you'll have to weed through this mangled Myspace site that will need to be reconstructed after their attempt to keep up: Wayne Moon on Myspace.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Status Symbol Dependent

Everyone knows that our dependence on status symbols is contributing to American fatalities overseas and abroad. So shouldn't we all agree to do something about these big issues I'm always right about?

Safety Gap Grows Wider Between S.U.V.'s and Cars
By DANNY HAKIM
DETROIT, Aug. 16 - The gap in safety between sport utility vehicles and passenger cars last year was the widest yet recorded, according to new federal traffic data. People driving or riding in a sport utility vehicle in 2003 were nearly 11 percent more likely to die in an accident than people in cars, the figures show.

By the way, remember when President Bush pledged about a buck three eighty toward research and development of hydrogen fuel alternatives? While it's true that experts have said hydrogen fuel cell technology for automobiles will not be a viable answer in our lifetimes (especially if we're only spending the same amount that went into R&D of the Ford Taurus), can we at least give the public a chance to mull it over? In our new role as tech leaders, New Jerseyans have an opportunity to consider recommendations made by the Rutgers University Center for Energy, Economic and Environmental Policy. Lean all about hydrogen fuel in the report here. In the meantime, plant your windmill garden before it's too late.


3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Moon,

Personally, I would like a rant about the McMansions going up like measles on every available piece of land left for developing. Of course, there have many countless articles and comments regarding this issue, but I want YOUR discourse on the subject. Surely, these are more evil than the SUV's folks have latched onto as the current hate-object. American's have always loved their big, fat cars; they are only a slightly taller incarnation of cadillacs and pontiacs and those airy boats we used to love before Adolph Hitler promoted the Volkswagen.

Parents are moaning and groaning about the financial burdens of modern life and wish they could spend more time with their kids, so they say, but actually cannot spend enough time with their kids because of the need to have two brand new SUV's, a large McMansion and vacation every year to Cancun (in addition to the countless other material goods they possess). Remember the stories your parents used to tell you of how poor old Mom only had one new coat in 20 years? A little sacrifice and all that stuff? It's not that there's anything wrong with living well - or maybe there is; will someone ask Jesus what he would do, please?

Yours truly,
RantNRave

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just joking about Adolph (though he did think the Volkswagen was a swell idea); actually, I think it was mostly the gas crisis in the 70's and some very sweet looking foreign cars like the Toyota Celica that did the Pontiac in.

3:59 PM  
Blogger Wayne Moon said...

RE: "rant about the McMansions going up like measles on every available piece of land left for developing."

Oh, I don't know. I've always been partial to the aesthetic result of littering a hillside with house clones in copy/paste fashion. I see these developments and fondly recall my favorite kindergarten project, which involved puncturing the skin of an orange with dozens of cloves (purportedly to be used to stave off the musty odor inside our closets at home), as if my teacher was some prescient space-travelling designer, inspired by the future sight of our poor planet, bristling with the function-over-form habitats of humanity.

Anyway, didn't you know that there's a housing crisis?

12:49 PM  

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