This Is A Test

Is there anyone left out there?

This has been a test. In the event that the planet has been obliterated due to tensions in the Middle East or North Korea, or global warming, or some other event that has been advanced, aggravated or subsidized by me and you, please disregard this test.

This is only a wah wah wah liberal guilt why can't we get along Ahmadinejad is crazy and we're all doomed kind of test.

When a Couple is Just a Couple

Sometimes the people in the street and in their cars and on the sidewalks and under the cardboard boxes and wrapped in foil are just that. However, yesterday, everybody around me seemed pregnant with menace and despair. I found myself on a diverging path with a tall man, who walked with leonine grace. On his face he wore a scowl, and he spoke in foreboding monotone. A woman walked several paces behind, apparently responding with words of subordinate dignity. They matched my speed, then broke off and crossed the street. I checked for my wallet. It was still there.

Rant from a contributor

Transcription:
“Be it 7-11 or be it Wawa, the Slurpee or Icee machine is always flashing its red light and is never ready to dispense. All you get is soda. This happens 8 times out of 10. I resort to getting a Diet Pepsi Slurpee. They always have an abundance of insane Candy Apple Slurpee! They even had this one that looked like Crayola Orange and they call it Mystery Slurpee. At work, when the copier needs paper, I always add paper. If the Slurpee machine is not ready to dispense Coca Cola Slurpees, why don’t they make it so?”

That crap is bad for you anyway. -Editor

In Memory of Ishtar, Age 21

Rest your weary bones, old friend.

October 1984 - March 2006