Brain Spoon

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brain spoon n. 1. A device used by 4th century Quirinalian monks to exact revenge for crimes deemed monstrously immoral. The device consisted of a large scoop with razor sharp edges, fixed to bellows and a hollow tube, through which was poured a mixture of vinegar and molten metal intended to soften the skull, thereby facilitating cranial penetration and extraction of brain sections. 2. Any device which causes extreme pain in the craniocerebral region.

And now, for The Best of Wayne Moon, you'll have to weed through this mangled Myspace site that will need to be reconstructed after their attempt to keep up: Wayne Moon on Myspace.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

School To Work

In 1974, I was appointed Captain of the Audio Visual Unit. I might have refused the position, but I needed the job…mostly to take my mind off Chrissie Darlington, who sat next to me but only had eyes for Jimmy Cooper. Also, I was in sixth grade, and the world was a difficult place. I had to wear special shoes and no one was laughing at my Richard Nixon impression anymore. So I took the job. My responsibilities included assigning film projector duties to my team of students, which required assessing the personalities and technical proficiency levels of each team member and matching him or her to a film or filmstrip.

Early in my tenure, I designed a t-shirt logo. On the day I wore the shirt to school, Chrissie’s smile lit up the classroom. I like to pretend she was experiencing almost anything other than derision. Undeterred (and perhaps obliviously), I earned a degree in Communications, which, over the years, I have put to use as Captain of the Audio Visual Unit at several large organizations. And by the way, Chrissie and I have been happily ma -- okay, you probably guessed that life doesn't happen that way. Someday maybe I'll accept the fact that this isn’t sixth grade anymore.