Brain Spoon

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brain spoon n. 1. A device used by 4th century Quirinalian monks to exact revenge for crimes deemed monstrously immoral. The device consisted of a large scoop with razor sharp edges, fixed to bellows and a hollow tube, through which was poured a mixture of vinegar and molten metal intended to soften the skull, thereby facilitating cranial penetration and extraction of brain sections. 2. Any device which causes extreme pain in the craniocerebral region.

And now, for The Best of Wayne Moon, you'll have to weed through this mangled Myspace site that will need to be reconstructed after their attempt to keep up: Wayne Moon on Myspace.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Aphasia

Dropped off daughter at a sleepover party, and Wife and I had a date. On the way to the movie, I forgot the word that means partial or total loss of the ability to articulate ideas or comprehend spoken or written language. I said to wife, “Come on, you know the word. You used to use it all the time.” She denied this, and we argued. However, my biorhythms were riding high, and I was sure we’d run into friends at the movie who would know the word. We didn’t. On the way home, we argued again. She was angry, believing that my obsessive search for the word was an attack on her inability to remember things. I was angry, certain that she had been coerced by the government or otherworldly agents to alter my perception of reality. What she did not know was that, in my devil brain, I had made a back-burner deal. If I could not recall the word before arriving home, something bad would happen. Minutes before turning onto our street, the word popped into my head. The agents had relented. This time.