Brain Spoon: July 2005

About Me

brain spoon n. 1. A device used by 4th century Quirinalian monks to exact revenge for crimes deemed monstrously immoral. The device consisted of a large scoop with razor sharp edges, fixed to bellows and a hollow tube, through which was poured a mixture of vinegar and molten metal intended to soften the skull, thereby facilitating cranial penetration and extraction of brain sections. 2. Any device which causes extreme pain in the craniocerebral region.

And now, for The Best of Wayne Moon, you'll have to weed through this mangled Myspace site that will need to be reconstructed after their attempt to keep up: Wayne Moon on Myspace.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

My Boethius

Today, the message in my fortune cookie read: Your wish to go up up up will be granted.

I imagine finding myself on the train while crossing a bridge. I imagine glancing up in time to see the fanatic standing in the aisle, daring me to lunge for his thumb as it presses the plunger, completes the circuit, exposes his gelignite to electricity. I imagine plummeting to the river, struggling with the shock and pain and the cold of submersion, reaching upward, up, up, up, and breaking the surface as the wreckage of the bridge releases its pretense of brazen immortality at my expense.

I imagine sinking down down down.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Buster Mood

You know the tender scene in the movie where the incidental character is invested with humanity by making love with his wife? You know how that scene is followed by the one in which he is horrifically killed, and you wouldn't have cared if he hadn't been in the previous tender scene?

You know how I consider myself an incidental character?

I think about that sometimes.