Holiday Giving

In an attempt to spark reaction and foster the holiday spirit of rebellion, I've decided to give away all of my friends' gift-giving secrets:

Al, you're wife is planning to surprise you with a week in Bermuda. She's made all the accomodations and the small box wrapped in green paper contains airline tickets and a certificate from Edgehill Manor.

Kris, on Christmas morning, your husband will tell you to close your eyes. He will guide you to the back door. When you open your eyes, you will see a jacuzzi wrapped in a red bow. The installers will arrive on December 28.

Pete, your entire family has been pretending that you're not going to be exchanging gifts this year. Actually, they've pooled their money and have made a down payment on your dream house in Camden.

John, your worst nightmare is about to come true. Yes, she is coming for the entire weekend.

Sandy, Paul was going to arrive at your apartment on Christmas morning with a bottle of brandy, and then he was going to tell you how he really feels about you. But now he'll probably stay home and rip his retro telephone off of the wall.

Jack, when you disappeared again, we all decided to give ourselves the gift of forgetting that you ever existed in the first place.

As soon as I find out more secrets, I'll post them here. Happy Holidays!