Brain Spoon: November 2006

About Me

brain spoon n. 1. A device used by 4th century Quirinalian monks to exact revenge for crimes deemed monstrously immoral. The device consisted of a large scoop with razor sharp edges, fixed to bellows and a hollow tube, through which was poured a mixture of vinegar and molten metal intended to soften the skull, thereby facilitating cranial penetration and extraction of brain sections. 2. Any device which causes extreme pain in the craniocerebral region.

And now, for The Best of Wayne Moon, you'll have to weed through this mangled Myspace site that will need to be reconstructed after their attempt to keep up: Wayne Moon on Myspace.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Scenario AEW *

And so, your long national nightmare sloooooowly comes to an end. Now what happens when you wake up, older, enfeebled, even hobbled? You sit up in bed but forget that you're no longer young, so the blood drains from your head and you fall back again. Meanwhile, your show-off neighbor (Iran...get it?) is beating his chest in the street and you delay calling the police because you know they've been over-extended across town. And that's when your neighbor moves into your shed and ignites your gas grill, angering your other neighbors so that you have to reinstitute the draft.

*AEW are the initials of the author of the subordinating clause: so that you have to reinstitute the draft.