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brain spoon n. 1. A device used by 4th century Quirinalian monks to exact revenge for crimes deemed monstrously immoral. The device consisted of a large scoop with razor sharp edges, fixed to bellows and a hollow tube, through which was poured a mixture of vinegar and molten metal intended to soften the skull, thereby facilitating cranial penetration and extraction of brain sections. 2. Any device which causes extreme pain in the craniocerebral region.

And now, for The Best of Wayne Moon, you'll have to weed through this mangled Myspace site that will need to be reconstructed after their attempt to keep up: Wayne Moon on Myspace.

Friday, September 02, 2005

James 5:14-16 *

I walk past the old cemetery. A large section of the wrought iron fence has been damaged, wrenched off its posts and left leaning in place. I look up, suspecting high winds, falling branches, or even the giant criminals who roam these sad urban streets at night.

I turn into an alley. A man is approaching. He rides a bicycle. He wears a do-rag and a pained expression. Twenty feet from me, he stops, leans left, and unloads a voluminous esophagus-ful of vomit into the weeds and broken glass on the ground. “Oh God,” he says, mid-eruption. I step forward, feigning assistance, but heed the unspoken advice of the throng with whom I walk, and we quickly step around the dangerous-looking fellow. My heart skips a beat, then another, and I consider the consequences of losing consciousness so close to his sick. I imagine harmful microbes, liberated from the sticky mess and attaching themselves to my soles or my hair should I fall here. But the throng buoys me up, and, safely, we pass.

*Is any among you sick?

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