And Zhang Zi Yi as Dirk Gently

Blinking tears of nostalgia as the first notes of the original series theme music swept across the theater, I leaned over and gave my wife a thank you kiss. She was doing this as a birthday present to me, braving the weekend kid crowd in a multiplex instead of enjoying a film in our local art theater, with its cappuccino café and cushioned seats. After the opening title sequence, I settled in, ready to enjoy the big screen version of one of my favorite series of books, radio and television. Sadly, the ride was downhill from there. The Arthur Dent actor was almost okay. I had accepted the versatile Mos Def as Ford, but, while his first mumbled lines might have been motivated by the premise that the planet on which he was standing was about to be obliterated and he would need to drink a lot quickly, the remainder of his words might as well have been uttered from beneath his towel. Zooey D. was . . . what’s she from again? Anyway, she was . . . I guess I remember her from something. Sam Rockwell . . . the logic of the second head was a bit twisted from the intent of the original. And how did a third arm sneak in there? So Sam Rockwell . . . why not just get the original Zaphod? I had been prepared to change my idea of the robot months ago, after viewing the website preview. Of course, Alan Rickman’s voice is perfect. Another highlight: Henson’s amazing Vogons. Brilliant stuff! I even liked a beardless Slartibartfast, thanks to the also often mumbling Bill Nighy. Why did this music video director tell everybody to mumble? This is supposed to be, as clueless critics have said, Python-esque satire. So, direct the actors to open their mouths and act big! Or at least provide subtitles.

Maybe next time.