Doddering in the Night
Last night I felt like I was going to . . . well, die. I woke up around 1:30 am, my night clothes soaked in sweat, my heartbeat fast and faint, my head in the throes of pre-dizziness. So I nudged the wife, in case there was anything she wanted to say to me. She put her hand on my cheek. "You're cold as ice," she said, conjuring a symptom I hadn't thought of on my own, and then she drifted back to sleep. I summoned my last ounce of bravery to stand up and dodder into the bathroom. Once there, I relieved myself, and went back to bed, where this morning I awoke, ready to greet a brand new day.
posted by Wayne Moon | 8:15 PM
1 Comments:
Anxiety, oh anxiety, come and imbed your dark gravity in the recesses of my anxiety, oh anxiety, why are you always a-bothering me?
For a long time, I used to wake up feeling a similar panic. I kept getting the feeling that I had missed something really important that I was supposed to have taken care of from a few years ago. I would wake up and get out of bed thinking I had to go down into the basement of my old apartment (I no longer lived there) because I had forgotten to do something really, really important - but it remained a mystery.............
Now I realize that I forgot to ensure that I had a career paying adult wages where I could use a little stinkin' creativity. And then there was the little issue with the IRS last year. And then there was some serious dealing with loss and death and wondering if doing the hokey pokey really IS what it's all about (I read that on a bumper sticker).
and then you turn yourself around......................
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