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brain spoon n. 1. A device used by 4th century Quirinalian monks to exact revenge for crimes deemed monstrously immoral. The device consisted of a large scoop with razor sharp edges, fixed to bellows and a hollow tube, through which was poured a mixture of vinegar and molten metal intended to soften the skull, thereby facilitating cranial penetration and extraction of brain sections. 2. Any device which causes extreme pain in the craniocerebral region.

And now, for The Best of Wayne Moon, you'll have to weed through this mangled Myspace site that will need to be reconstructed after their attempt to keep up: Wayne Moon on Myspace.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Train Tract No. 720

My work day is over. The rain has stopped and I am feeling the strain of daylight savings time. Walking to the station, I pass the remains of an umbrella, splayed out like a pterodactyl on the sidewalk, black wings stripped from its silver bones, the collapsible spine dislocated and bent violently toward the retreating storm. This once-proud instrument, created to shelter us from the very substance which dominates our cells, has been flattened, as if all rain had coagulated and dropped at once on this spot. I wonder if the owner of the drowned umbrella had been lifted up like gum on the bottom of a shoe, as the last rain cloud roiled out to sea.

I board the train and close my eyes. When I awake, we are moving. Absent are the usual clacking noises of wheels on tracks. Outside, I see the flood. The river has crossed the tracks and, to my surprise, we are skimming over the water. A shadow, cast by the setting sun, traces the shape of the train car, and I believe that I can detect an upright mast and a billowing sail. As we glide along the Delaware River, a fellow passenger marvels, “We didn’t even have to pay extra for this ride!”

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