Happy Inauguration Day

I hope you’re all happy.

So I’m one of those people who try really hard to memorize our Bill of Rights. And if it wasn’t for the unfortunate size of my head, which seems to sport a circumference rather less than most humans (which probably restricted the development of brain matter within), I would be forever sprinkling fragments of the first ten Amendments into my conversations. Just one thing: can someone please explain to me the Ninth Amendment? I’ve been forgetting to ask an expert about that one for years…

The Queasy Uneasy

For the past few days, I’ve been experiencing a queasy stomach. It’s the kind of queasiness that has the potential to flare up any time, but usually is provoked by the sight of something or someone that doesn’t agree with me. This morning on the train, I was nearly made to vomit by Toby Maguire. Not the real Toby Maguire, but someone who resembled the superstar with the bland, chalky cheeks, rubbery lips, overlong philtrum, and fetal-pig eyes. I had seen this look-alike a few times in the past, before my current spate of queasiness, with mild results. I had sensed the potential even then.

I should probably have this looked at.

Hey, I was going to write this...

In Richard Clarke’s Ten Years Later, the country faces a rash of attacks--on malls, casinos, amusement parks, subways, computer networks, and more--and responds by becoming a police state of sorts. Civil liberties are harshly curtailed; the country teems with security workers and various methods of surveillance; and everything coming in, whether by sea, land, or air, is tightly controlled.

To read the article, you’ll have to subscribe to The Atlantic Monthly.