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brain spoon n. 1. A device used by 4th century Quirinalian monks to exact revenge for crimes deemed monstrously immoral. The device consisted of a large scoop with razor sharp edges, fixed to bellows and a hollow tube, through which was poured a mixture of vinegar and molten metal intended to soften the skull, thereby facilitating cranial penetration and extraction of brain sections. 2. Any device which causes extreme pain in the craniocerebral region.

And now, for The Best of Wayne Moon, you'll have to weed through this mangled Myspace site that will need to be reconstructed after their attempt to keep up: Wayne Moon on Myspace.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I Crave Your Girth

Once, I was described by an acquaintance as "a little wisp of a thing." My perception of myself changed in that moment, and I have lived that role ever since. So it was a pleasure to walk into the early morning sunshine and stroll to the train before any large humans were out today. As I sauntered, I noticed the lush lawns on either side. I imagined that each blade of grass was a person. Atmospheres above the cowering minions, I smiled, content to brush aside their cries of horror, waving as I stepped gingerly to the edge of the sidewalk before veering back to the center, sparing each pathetic wisp of a thing. I wonder, what did the regular-sized dog walking the woman think of that?

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